I often say that I am unprepared for motherhood. I can cook tolerable food, but I have severely limited ideas about what to make. I don't know how to maintain a house, budget, fix stuff, get stains out of clothes, prepare a food storage, do hair. . .the list goes on. Instead of learning all this, I was taking classes about Middle Age Literature (now THERE'S something to help you down the road!) and playing in a bluegrass band.
Nephi: He had no idea how he was going to get the plates. He had no idea how to get to the promised land. He didn't know how to build a ship, much less sail a ship. In 2 Nephi 5:15 he teaches his people to build buildings, work in wood and iron and etc and then in verse 16, he builds a temple.
These are not easy things. Not only that, but Nephi learned to do these things while his brothers were continually threatening his life.
I can be like Nephi. I can learn. I can do hard things.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Discipline Strategy 1: Replacing Negative Behavior
I will occasionally be posting about discipline strategies I use. Please keep in mind that I consider discipline as another word for teaching. In other words, an opportunity to discipline is an opportunity to teach correct behavior.
Here's an idea to try: For several weeks now I have been working with Bear to eliminate an undesirable action. Here's the history: for some reason, he seems to be scared to have a bowel movement (BM). I'm not sure exactly what triggered that, but we've been dealing with the consequences--withholding for several days and then screaming for Mama!!! when he finally goes.
First I tried a positive award system--he gets a treat every time he has a BM. This was effective at getting him to go a little more frequently, but he still would scream.
So, I tried increasing the reward--two treats if you don't scream. This was not really effective because he could handle getting only one treat. That was when my suspicions proved correct that most of the screaming was for attention and not out of true pain. (we'll discuss discipline and attention in another post).
So, I used his little sister as an example. "See what Bee says when she is on the potty? Can you say what she says?"
It was not until I showed him a positive replacement behavior that the negative behavior ceased. In showing a replacement behavior, you need to be careful that you are not "comparing" in a negative way as in, "your little sister doesn't scream, why can't you be more like her?" Instead, teach a replacement behavior in a positive way.
And yes, he does get two treats but also a mama celebration which is usually a greater reward for little ones.
Here's an idea to try: For several weeks now I have been working with Bear to eliminate an undesirable action. Here's the history: for some reason, he seems to be scared to have a bowel movement (BM). I'm not sure exactly what triggered that, but we've been dealing with the consequences--withholding for several days and then screaming for Mama!!! when he finally goes.
First I tried a positive award system--he gets a treat every time he has a BM. This was effective at getting him to go a little more frequently, but he still would scream.
So, I tried increasing the reward--two treats if you don't scream. This was not really effective because he could handle getting only one treat. That was when my suspicions proved correct that most of the screaming was for attention and not out of true pain. (we'll discuss discipline and attention in another post).
So, I used his little sister as an example. "See what Bee says when she is on the potty? Can you say what she says?"
It was not until I showed him a positive replacement behavior that the negative behavior ceased. In showing a replacement behavior, you need to be careful that you are not "comparing" in a negative way as in, "your little sister doesn't scream, why can't you be more like her?" Instead, teach a replacement behavior in a positive way.
And yes, he does get two treats but also a mama celebration which is usually a greater reward for little ones.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Lesson from King Benjamin
King Benjamin is pretty amazing. There are SO many things to learn from him. Last night, I recognized something I've never noticed before. In Mosiah 1:2 it states that "he caused that they should be taught in all the language of their fathers, that thereby they might become men of understanding..." --so they could read the records brought from Jerusalem, among other things.
Then in verse 3 it says that "he taught them concerning the records which were engraven upon the plates of brass."
Now I hope this isn't stretching it a bit, but I started thinking about King Benjamin as a parent. He allowed (or "caused") others to do the "secular" teaching, if you will, and did the most important teaching himself. He knew what was the best thing to spend his time teaching his children. He himself bore testimony to them and taught them the things of the kingdom.
Just another example of how to spend our time wisely with our children and to teach them the best things.
Then in verse 3 it says that "he taught them concerning the records which were engraven upon the plates of brass."
Now I hope this isn't stretching it a bit, but I started thinking about King Benjamin as a parent. He allowed (or "caused") others to do the "secular" teaching, if you will, and did the most important teaching himself. He knew what was the best thing to spend his time teaching his children. He himself bore testimony to them and taught them the things of the kingdom.
Just another example of how to spend our time wisely with our children and to teach them the best things.
A glimpse in the rearview
In May, I volunteered to help present information about the after-school class I teach at a music teachers conference. I would only need to take about 10 minutes. A week before the conference, I wrote out my ideas and felt generally prepared. Still, the night before the conference I started having some anxiety about it. Suddenly I realized I was going to be talking to people who had a lot more experience as teachers and who also know more about music than I do. I felt inadequate for the task.
After spending an hour practicing, I realized that I did know what I was doing, and what I wanted to say. It was not an hour wasted, it was a necessary hour of preparation.
The reason this experience was so significant is that I signed up for it because I wanted the learning experience. I knew what kind of conference it was going to be when I signed up, I just felt the magnitude the night before.
Then I was granted the larger insight. A 10-minute speech is pretty insignificant compared to a whole week or month. Just as this life is such a small portion compared to all of eternity. I can imagine myself on the threshold before my earthly experience feeling excited and anxious and probably a little inadequate. But I volunteered, knowing the road ahead, because I wanted the learning experience.
Think about your life. What learning experience did you sign up for that is overwhelming you? Remember you knew, and you knew you could do it!
After spending an hour practicing, I realized that I did know what I was doing, and what I wanted to say. It was not an hour wasted, it was a necessary hour of preparation.
The reason this experience was so significant is that I signed up for it because I wanted the learning experience. I knew what kind of conference it was going to be when I signed up, I just felt the magnitude the night before.
Then I was granted the larger insight. A 10-minute speech is pretty insignificant compared to a whole week or month. Just as this life is such a small portion compared to all of eternity. I can imagine myself on the threshold before my earthly experience feeling excited and anxious and probably a little inadequate. But I volunteered, knowing the road ahead, because I wanted the learning experience.
Think about your life. What learning experience did you sign up for that is overwhelming you? Remember you knew, and you knew you could do it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)